In His Secret Life by Mel Bossa

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When Allan’s boyfriend leaves him for a younger man, Allan lets him go without a grudge. When his sister, Elsie, gets pregnant and ditched, he becomes her support system and father figure to his niece.
Then Elsie becomes engaged to Dayton, and Allan meets Dayton’s older brother, Davinder—a fierce and exceptionally gifted artist with a thousand secrets breathing in his eyes. But Davinder is a married man and father of two young boys.
From the moment they meet, and for over four decades, Allan and Davinder will walk along the edge of their secret lives, never allowed to push open the gates. And though their love is a head-on collision, a meeting of the minds, a fusing of two lost souls, both men know that it is also, and above all…impossible.

Amazon Link: http://www.amazon.ca/His-Secret-Life-Mel-Bossa-ebook/dp/B00CSBHCNM/ref=sr_1_1_bnp_1_kin?ie=UTF8&qid=1385500038&sr=8-1&keywords=In+His+Secret+Life

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4 IS MY HEART STILL BEATING? STARS

It has been confirmed, I am a ANGST JUNKIE. If I have the option between self inflicted torture and pain vs sleep I choose option A EACH AND EVERY TIME!

Why sleep when my heart can bleed every time Davinder touched Allan’s forehead with his? my heart could weep a little bit more…

Why sleep when 2 people who love each other hurt and rip each other apart on every other page? 

Sleep is severely overrated. 

This book made me question so many things! Every other page made me wonder, question, seek motives, seek solutions, absolution, solace.

It made me question, is cheating right???? Hell’s to the NO I know this BUT I still freaking questioned it! I did, I really truly did.

Can you stop a collision that is bound to happen? Head on? Can you??? Can you stop love?? Is love real? How do you know its love? How can you distinguish between love VS  possession, obsession and control? How do you know ITS REAL?????

How can your heart hurt, and shatter and crumble for 224 pages? How?

Cause it can, I can attest! I lived it for 18 hours. 18 hours of my life I spent in despair, with glimpses of hope, of love, of happiness. GLIMPSES! ONLY GLIMPSES!

“I’ll be fine Davinder. I’m happy we had tonight, it was wonderful.”

“Please don’t say it like that. It sounds so tragic.”

“Yah I know.” 

4 decades of a love story DENIED! Denied by many. Denied by choices, right, wrong, should I stay, should I go. Him and him, and family, and marriage vows and children. Choices made out of fear, out of desire, out of love.

Is the testament all is far in love and war true??? This book will make you question EVERYTHING. 

“Everything that happened, happened for a reason, and even in my darkest hours, I believed it. I needed to go through those years alone. I had to touch the bottom to kick back up.” Davinder

“We’ve all got our path to travel, and I’ve traveled down mine alone for a long time. What I mean is, you’ve got so much ahead of you, and if you choose to survive your past, no matter how much hurt is buried there, you can break free.” Allan

And after 10 years of being separate and alone on a path to no where, they will come to be again. ‘

“No, our story couldn’t be written. It had only just begun.” 

Was it a HEA? YES.

Did I die a little bit on page 224? YES.

Mel Bossa~ I probably could have lived without that epilogue. But this angst junkie thanks you from the bottom of her heart for the knife that you stuck in there! Page 224 killed me slowly.

I travelled through 4 decades with a cast of characters that will stay with me for a really long time

Mare~Slitsread

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